It’s easy to judge a couple and figure out if their relationship is going well, but it’s often complicated to analyze your own relationship and determine if you and your partner have chemistry or not. In a recent research study by Adam Grant, best-selling author of Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success, he discovered that people fall into one of the three major categories: Givers, Matchers, and Takers. These distinct categories can help determine how healthy or messy relationships are. Here is a quick overview of Grant’s theories and how they can be used to ensure a happy and thriving relationship.
The Role Of Givers
Givers take pride in taking care of others and contributing to society. They always make sure that their loved ones are doing well. They are willing to give advice, share knowledge and offer help without expecting anything back. In Grant’s observations, anyone would love to have a giver around. Not only because givers are affectionate and kind, but their attitude also affects the longevity of a relationship. They understand the value of keeping the connections strong.
If a relationship is unhappy, however, givers end up blaming themselves and they are constantly worrying if there is something wrong with them. They often think they are not good enough and unworthy of love or attention, as they take full responsible for making the relationship work.
The Impact of Takers
Takers, on the other hand, are the ones who wisely use people for their own benefit. Although they look charismatic and charming, the only thing they care about is self-interest. Takers only treat someone well if they believe that the person can help them achieve their goals in life. Once the taker has everything he or she wants, they burn bridges. They leave someone physically, emotionally, and financially drained.